The dating game is never fun. Trying to understand someone you’re dating is like figuring out rocket science or if the egg or chicken came first and it’s something we can all relate to, regardless of our sexuality.
With that being said, gay men have to deal with endless married men, a culture obsessed with body image and internalized homophobia. Here are just nine of the gems you’re likely to meet on a gay dating app thanks to these problematic norms:
1) The Conversation Ender:
If you’re into someone online you’re never going to turn your boring banter into a real-life date if you use terms like “Hi”, “how are you?”, and “grand”. Acting average and not inciting a memorable conversation, no matter how cute your profile pic is, isn’t blowing anyone’s mind.
2) The Stalker:
If someone is messaging you about how “close” in proximity they are to you or randomly tap you on the shoulder on a night out cause they saw you were close by on Grindr, run, run for your life! Don’t be fooled by those “I think I know you?” questions.
3) The NSFW Sender:
There’s nothing more awkward than showing your work colleagues cute dog photos only to have BigJon1234 filling your camera roll full of his jockstrap collection.
4) The ‘STATS’ Guy:
Sometimes we have to remember that the online world is an extension of the real world. Don’t use terms like “STATS” to find out more about someone, even if they are only a one night stand.
5) The Catfisher:
Don’t get me started.
6) The ‘Straight Man Searching For Fun’:
The irony does not go over anyone’s head. If you’re a “straight acting” guy with the term masc for masc in your bio nobody likes you.
7) The Collector:
“Send me pics x”, “Unlock your pics”, “I’ll send you a pic for a pic” are all the questions that a collector will ask you. The collector is unashamedly collecting images of people’s bits, if I haven’t already made this clear.
8) The Desperate & Passive Aggressive One:
“Hey, why don’t you reply to me?”, “I thought you were different”, “Are you ignoring me? If I’m not your type just say so” are all the things you don’t want to hear from someone you haven’t replied to in five minutes.
9) The One:
After all the weird messages and NSFW pics, eventually, a nice guy will appear on your radar. It just might take several months and hours of endless “grand, how are you?” responses.