“We were so busy figuring out whether we could we never stopped to think whether we should.” So can be imagined the defence that will inevitably be used by the creators of this ice-cream when they are presumably brought in front of an international court to answer for their crimes. One can perhaps sympathise that the international courts of justice should perhaps be dealing with more worthy matters than taking the manufacturers of experimental ice-cream flavours to task. One can definitely sympathise with the fact that, given the sole legal defence of these ice-cream makers is to paraphrase a quote from Jurassic Park, they are almost certainly not going to be exonerated.
However, it seems inconceivable that anyone could, in this world, create an ice-cream that combines the flavours of ‘oysters’ and ‘champagne’, and still escape some form of punition. Yet, that is exactly what Deliveroo, having teamed up with Dublin ice-cream makers Scoop have done. They have joined forces to bear the fruits of this unholy union as a Valentine’s Day themed promotion.
Bobby Burns, of Deliveroo, spoke about the Oyster & Champagne flavoured
abomination ice-cream – which will only be available from Scoop’s Aungier Street store – thusly; “This Valentine’s Day, we intend to play Cupid for those looking to embrace the holiday of love to the fullest extent. We’re very happy to work with Scoop, who share our passion for pushing boundaries with innovative delicious treats.”
To even further limit its availability, it will also only be available on 14 February from this store. While both champagne and oyster may have reasonably gathered a reputation as aphrodisiacs in their own right, I’m sure that having their flavours distilled down, and then combined into ice-cream will almost certainly nullify whatever effect they may’ve had individually. This would particularly be the case if your co-datee happens to harbour a crippling shellfish allergy and, as you lovingly spoon a dollop of the ‘surprise ice-cream flavour’ that you bought them into their open mouth, they immediately drop to the floor and begin convulsing as they enter the early stages of anaphylactic shock.
All that said, it could be delicious, who am I to say, I haven’t even tried the damn thing, but it just feels wrong.