I was planning on beginning this post with some overly-wrought breakdown of the phrase ‘lovely weather for ducks’. However, having Googled the idiom to check its precise phrasing and perhaps find a little bit more about it, the first thing to appear was a brief extract from an article which read: ‘Despite conventional thinking, rain is not lovely weather for ducks, because the rain washes away the oil in their feathers that lets them float’.
This was such a profoundly dispiriting piece of information and, weighed down by the image of a river-full of ducks, bobbing about in the rain, each slowly, stoically, sinking lower in the waterline like so many Titanics – but Titanics with beaks, I abandoned the endeavour altogether. Instead, let us cut straight to the nub of the issue that’s brought us here; the imminent shittening of the weather.
I’m gonna level with you, the weather is about to get increasingly piss poor over the next 24 hours or so, before reverting to its horrible mid-Irish-winter mean.
By way of warning us of this, Met Éireann has issued a series of weather warnings so that we all may take appropriate measures; which, for me, simply involves the writing of a perfunctory article covering this announcement.
Wind Warnings have been issued for tomorrow, Wednesday, in association with #StormDiana
Yellow warning nationwide 90 to 110km/h
Orange warning for southwestern counties 110 to 130km/hhttps://t.co/ozrQHtoOkt pic.twitter.com/SWC1AWBMKx
— Met Éireann (@MetEireann) November 27, 2018
Wind warnings have been issued due to – and anyone who knows will tell you that I don’t use this phrase lightly – the colossal North Atlantic based cyclone Storm Diana, working it’s way toward Ireland. There has been a status yellow warning issued for the whole country with regard to wind. This warning is in effect from Wednesday at 05:00 to 16:00. There has also been a status orange wind warning issued for Cork, Kerry, Waterford as well as Wexford, Galway, Clare, with the warning coming into effect from 06:00 to 12:00 on Wednesday, for the former three counties, and for 09:00 to 14:00 for the latter three counties.
Met Éireann has described the weather to be going through a ‘disturbed phase’ – which, for me, expressed itself during a phase at the age of 14 when I isolated myself in my room playing Pro Evolution Football on the Playstation while also listening to My Chemical Romance’s discography on heavy rotation, but for the weather appears to manifest itself by getting sufficiently gusty to necessitate the issuing of storm warnings.
Thankfully, it appears that, while there will be some rain, it will be nowhere near as severe as the deluges that swamped the country this morning.