Thursday, December 5, 2024
HomeLifeStudent Begins Fast Ahead Of Eating Parents 'Out Of House And Home'

Student Begins Fast Ahead Of Eating Parents ‘Out Of House And Home’

Gillian Burke has begun her 48 hour fast in preparation for her return to her family in Clare where she intends to eat her parents ‘out of house and home’.

The UCC student is determined to be as hungry as humanly possible before making the trip home where she is expected to descend on the kitchen like a plague of locusts, devouring any scrap of fodder in sight.

We spoke to Burke about her planned fast, and why she is taking such drastic steps before the inevitable Christmas feast:

Being a student can be tough, between the rent, socialising, bills and food, you end up not starving half the time. That’s why this Christmas I’m going to make the most of Mammy’s cooking and properly ransack the place.

I want to make sure I make the most of my Christmas visit, so the fasting seemed like a natural step. I want to get in, get out and get fat, because when I go back to Cork I’ll be back to eating cream crackers and noodles every day.

College Times also spoke to Ms. Burke’s mother, Teresa about the upcoming onslaught:

It’s always a time of year when there’s an abundance of food in the house. I just hope that she’s not too mad with the hunger when she gets here.

Mrs. Burke admitted that last year’s Christmas was a tortuous affair, with the house decimated by her daughter’s wanton gluttony:

Last year was bad enough she had the place cleaned out by 4pm, and a bin liner full of leftovers to bring back to college with her. I’d say she put on around two stone in the space of a day, she was laid up in the bed like Jabba the Hutt screaming at us to bring her more turkey sandwiches. And after she was finished she started laying into our drink in the larder. Because she had lined the stomach so much she was downing cans like nobody’s business.

Teresa also let slip that a special decoy turkey has been readied in order to stem her daughter’s voracious appetite.

See Also: DCU Student Laments The Nightmare Of Working In Retail This Christmas

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