As the class settled into the tutorial room, awaiting the arrival of their tutor Prof. Bunbury, hushed chatter rose up from the throng of assembled, nervous students. The topic of each muttered conversation was inevitably focused around one subject; how woefully, dismally and utterly unprepared they were for their tutorial on early modern European history.
“We were all sitting there,” said one student, Hannah McEwan, “and none of us had prepared for the class, and we were just sort of freaking out as usual about what we were going to say for the 50 minutes. Then, fucking Jerome Arlington pipes up, trying to join in, as he always does, saying ‘Oh, I haven’t prepared either.’ 3 minutes later, once the class has started, he’s launching into an depth rant about the fluctuation of grain prices in 1830s Prussia.”
The fury of the class was palpable throughout the tutorial as Mr. Arlington, having tried to join in with the banter about their collective incompetence, had clearly been seen at various stages over the previous 3 weeks, buried up to the gills in books in the library, frantically studying about every aspect of the tutorial.
Speaking after the tutorial, Prof. Bunbury said “Well, I mean I’m not saying I don’t want any of them to prepare, that’s clearly not the point, but there’s a balance you want to find. I think even I lost the will to live sometime between Jerome’s rant on grain production and his analysis of the role of the judiciary in political life. Now I would be the last person to advocate that he be say, lynched, but all I’m saying is he ought to severely maimed in some way to ensure he knows to never do this again.”