If you are to shelve the almost innumerable legitimate and justifiable feuds and grievances that can tear families apart, then I feel comfortable saying that there are few things that strike up a family argument quite like trying to decide what movie to watch on Christmas Day. It is for this reason that I am such a keen advocate of the idea that families should slowly ostracise any members whose tastes in films, music etc. do not strictly conform to their own. Eventually it’ll reach a point where the family member in question who’s being frozen out will either buck their ideas up and hitch on to the bandwagon, or they will severe all ties – either way your problems will be solved.
Well, they say there are few things that quite define Christmas quite like a film putting a positive spin on the shameless exploitation of disabled people in the Victorian-era for entertainment purposes – so it’s no surprise to see that The Greatest Showman will be shown on Sky One.
The film was wildly popular upon its release, and, having collected over $430 million, it is perhaps the highest grossing film ever that features a character called ‘Dog Boy’. I know for a fact that, despite being released around New Year’s last year, it was bizarrely still being shown in the Savoy cinema in May, such was the unbridled demand that existed to see Hugh Jackman really stretch to the point of breaking his own vocal range. This beggars belief, given that, if we’re being honest with one another here, it’s an okay movie. It’s not actively bad really, but it’s certainly not great.
The film will be shown at 6.45pm on Sky One on Christmas day, and if you’ve followed our advice re: the shunning of all family members whose tastes do not conform to the majority’s, then you can all settle down to enjoy it. Or to watch something else, if your family’s tastes aren’t in line with those of Hugh Jackman and ‘Dog Boy’.