The Six-Ish Best Alternative Christmas Movies

Well, I say six but really it’s a little bit more. You’ll see what I mean…

Surely at this stage you’re sick and tired of watching the same old, same old at Christmas? Yes, we all love Miracle on 34th Street, Elf, The Santa Clause and all the traditional favourites but, should you want something a little bit different this Christmas period, here is some films you might not even think of as Christmas movies but, they most definitely are.

1. American Psycho

What could be more Christmasy than Yuppie nutcase Patrick Bateman scowling as a pair of Rudolph ears are placed on his head? American Psycho qualifies as an “Xmas” (“Merry Xmas Patrick!”) film just from this scene alone. American Psycho is also the darkest of Dark Comedies, from Christian Bale’s Bateman breaking out in a cold sweat from seeing someone having a nicer looking business card than him to the stark seriousness of Bale wishing a co-worker a “holly-jolly Christmas”.

 

2. Goodfellas

Staying on the theme of  dark comedies, here’s Goodfellas. Often credited as one of the best gangster films of all time, and possibly even Martin Scorsese’s greatest ever work, Goodfellas rarely gets credit for how funny it is.

And it is VERY funny.

Take this Christmas party scene for instance. Robert De Niro’s master thief, Jimmy Conway becomes increasingly more paranoid post Lufthansa Heist (the biggest cash robbery in US history at the time), as all his cronies arrive at the party with their newly purchased items. Just as De Niro berates Johnny Roast Beef for buying a brand new Cadillac, Frankie Carbone arrives in, his Mrs decked out in a brand new fur coat which De Niro literally takes off her back. It’s comical and it’s all set to the tune of “Frosty the Snowman” and “Baby Please Come Home”.

3. Children Of Men

OK, on the surface this may seem a little bit of a stretch. After all, there’s not a Christmas tree nor a bit of wrapping paper in sight, BUT, think about it. Clive Owen plays Theo whose task it is to get a pregnant woman who is in danger to a safe place so she can have her baby. It’s basically a modern take on the Nativity Story. Seriously.

4. Die Hard

This is already considered a Christmas classic but if Die Hard wasn’t included on this list there would rightly be uproar. So, for the uninitiated, why is Die Hard considered a Christmas movie? Well, all you need to do is read the logline of the movie!” John McClane, officer of the NYPD, tries to save his wife Holly and several others that were taken hostage by German terrorist Hans Gruber during a Christmas party at the Nakatomi Plaza in Los Angeles.” That’s not to mention it features the absolutely unreal Run DMC Christmas Song “Christmas in Hollis”.

Yipee ki-yay.

 

5. Eyes Wide Shut

The last film ever of legendary director Stanley Kubrick. (Kubrick actually passed away just one week after he showed the studio his final cut.) Christmas is literally everywhere in this film. So what if it’s a thinly veiled swipe at secret societies and the Christmas party scene ends with a hooker overdosing on a speedball in the upstairs bathroom, this is Kubrick’s version of Christmas! And don’t worry, nobody’s gonna judge you for spending some of your Christmas watching a film that’s essentially about swingers, it’s 2017!

6. All of the Harry Potter Movies

Just close your eyes, now imagine that Harry Potter theme in your head. If that doesn’t automatically transport you to sitting on your sofa, eating with fairy lights illuminating your face, then I don’t know what to tell you. The best thing about Harry Potter at Christmas? There’s SEVEN of them to binge on!